Sitting down to dinner...

<after trying to steal his porcelain dinner plate from the counter...>

"Mom?"

"Yes, Hudson?"

"I almost knocked over my dinner. I know that would've been bad."

"Yes, it would have been."

"But nobody would cry, mom."

"What do you mean, Hud?"

"When I do bad things, you should be HAPPY."

"Really? I should?"

"Yes, mom."

Driving to school with Dad...

"Dad?"

"Yeah, Hud."

"We can't be friends anymore."

"Why not?"

"Well... I love you, dad. But I don't like your face."