Sitting down to dinner...

<after trying to steal his porcelain dinner plate from the counter...>

"Mom?"

"Yes, Hudson?"

"I almost knocked over my dinner. I know that would've been bad."

"Yes, it would have been."

"But nobody would cry, mom."

"What do you mean, Hud?"

"When I do bad things, you should be HAPPY."

"Really? I should?"

"Yes, mom."

Driving to school with Dad...

"Dad?"

"Yeah, Hud."

"We can't be friends anymore."

"Why not?"

"Well... I love you, dad. But I don't like your face."

Out of nowhere...

"F*CK!

I can't find my cell phone."

Mrs. Parker: Do you know where he heard that word?

Mrs. Schwartz: Probably from his father!*

* I think we all know it's not Logan that loses his cell phone all the time. Gulp.

"Listening" to holiday tunes on channel 433

<photo of Christmas cookies on screen>
"COOKIES!"
"Do you like cookies?"
"I love cookies! Cookies are great!"
"Yeah, Hud?"
"Yes! CHRISTMAS cookies are GREAT... Apples are NOT."
<what??>

For the record: He LOVES apples.

Ho Ho Holidays

"I have a dadaclaus."

"A what, Huddy?"

"A DADaclaus."

"What's a dadaclaus?"

"My dad and Santa Claus are dadaclaus. I like dadaclaus."

"Me too!"

On the drive in this morning...

"Mom, I want to go to work."
"You have to go to school."
"No, I want to go to the office."
"You don't, Hudson, trust me. I don't even want to go to the office today."
"Mom?"
"Yes, Hud?"
"I see dark."
"What do you mean?"
"Work is going to get darker and darker and darker."
<should I be worried???>

The voice of reason at story time...

"Mom, I like the truck!"
"Yeah?"
"Which one do YOU like?"
"Um... I like the camper!"
"Can I ride in the camper with you?"
"Of course!"
"You should ride in the truck with ME!"
"OK, Hud. Are you going to drive or do you want me to drive?"
"Mom. I have to ride in my car seat. You have to drive."
<but, of course!>