"Listening" to holiday tunes on channel 433

<photo of Christmas cookies on screen>
"COOKIES!"
"Do you like cookies?"
"I love cookies! Cookies are great!"
"Yeah, Hud?"
"Yes! CHRISTMAS cookies are GREAT... Apples are NOT."
<what??>

For the record: He LOVES apples.

Ho Ho Holidays

"I have a dadaclaus."

"A what, Huddy?"

"A DADaclaus."

"What's a dadaclaus?"

"My dad and Santa Claus are dadaclaus. I like dadaclaus."

"Me too!"

On the drive in this morning...

"Mom, I want to go to work."
"You have to go to school."
"No, I want to go to the office."
"You don't, Hudson, trust me. I don't even want to go to the office today."
"Mom?"
"Yes, Hud?"
"I see dark."
"What do you mean?"
"Work is going to get darker and darker and darker."
<should I be worried???>

The voice of reason at story time...

"Mom, I like the truck!"
"Yeah?"
"Which one do YOU like?"
"Um... I like the camper!"
"Can I ride in the camper with you?"
"Of course!"
"You should ride in the truck with ME!"
"OK, Hud. Are you going to drive or do you want me to drive?"
"Mom. I have to ride in my car seat. You have to drive."
<but, of course!>

Man fight at the potty...

"DAD! You have a little vagina."

"YOU have a little vagina."

"No, dad. I have a big penis."

<burn!>

Driving past the Round Church...

"Look! That's where mommies and daddies get married!"
"That's right, Hudson. Do you know that YOUR mom and dad got married there?"
"I don't WANT to get married."
"That's OK Huddy, you don't have to get married. But, why don't you want to get married?"
"I don't want to get bigger and bigger and BIGGER."
"I don't want you to either, Hudson."
<sigh>

Bedtime stories...

"Huddy, mom's really tired tonight. I need to go to bed now."
"You can go in two minutes."
"OK."
"Talk on this page, mom."
"This is Washington DC. Mom and dad gave you this book on your first birthday, right before we moved."
"Oh."
"Huddy, mom's really tired. I'm going to go, ok?"
"Two minutes."
"It's already been two minutes."
"Well, you read this book to me and then you go. Does that make sense?"
"Did you just ask me if that makes sense?"
"Yes."
"That's RICH, Hudson."
"I'm a funny kid."
<how?? how is he so awesome??>

Weekend zingers...

"Hudson, can I have a kiss?"
"No, mom, I can't. I'm too busy."












"Look, Hudson. This is how a sewing machine works."
"Fancy that!"
"WHAT?"
"Fancy THAT, Mom!"
<dad> "Hudson, what century are you from?"






<dad>"Hudson, what color was the big excavator we saw today?"
"The same color as the little one."

At the dinner table tonight...

"MOM! I have a peenus."

"You mean a weenie?"

"No, mom. I have a PEE-nus. Billy* has a peenus, too."

"WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT?"

"Dolly*."

"Oh. Hmm..."

"Lisa* has a VAGINA."

"WHAT??"

"Yea, Lisa has a vagina. Faye* has a boo boo on her vagina."

<too soon>

* All names have been changed to protect the innocent. And the totally guilty teacher who ruined my awesome track record with WEENIE.

On the way up to bed...

"MOM! MOM! Look at THAT!"

<points at the Beggarstaff poster on the wall in the stairwell>

"What do you see, Huddy?"

"That man has a WEENIE! He's PEEIN' from his WEENIE!"

"Really, Hudson? I thought that was a woman in a black dress."

"NO! That man is peein' from his weenie. He has a weenie and ballsies!"

<all of the Browns laughing out loud>

"Well, Hudson. We'll never look at THAT the same again. Thanks a lot."

Formerly known as:
"The Lady with the Yellow Basket"

At Shelburne Farms Harvest Festival

"Huddy, look! They're milking a cow."

"Milk is coming out of that cow's bum, momma."

"Well... not exactly."

"Momma, look!"

"What do you see, Hud?"

"I see angry birds!"

"Um, Hudson? Those are regular birds. They're HAPPY birds."

<oy>

Pulling out of our spot after Friday night dinner...

<logan driving, car cuts us off>
"Thanks a LOT, asshole!"
"MOM! Daddy said thank you to that man."
"He did?"
"Yeah. A man is driving that car. Daddy said thank you."
<laughing>
"He DID say thank you, Huddy."
"That was nice, daddy. You're nice."

At bedtime tonight...

"Hey, Huddy, should we read the book that Uncle Scott and MF gave you?"
"Which book?"
"This book about poop."
"I want to poop on your face."
<sad look from mom>
"I sorry mom." <big fake smile>
<big real smile>

A souvenir from Yellowstone National Park.

In the bath with dad...

"Hey daaaaaaaad, I want to throw this toy boat at you!"

"You do?"

"Yeaaaaaaah!"

"Well, I want to throw a school bus!"

"No, dad. School bus is too big. Too heavy."

<genius>

Playful illustrations by a Maine mom.

As told by Dragonfly teacher, Julie...

<noise of truck approaching back deck at school; Hudson runs over>

"Julie! That truck brings milk!"

"Wow, Hudson, really? He delivers milk?"

"YES! He brings CHOCOLATE milk."

<brilliant>

A man on the can.

"I wanna go potty!"
"REALLY?? Awesome, let's try."
<climbs up>
"I need a book."
"OK. Here's The Greedy Python."
"NO! I need that book!"
"Which book?"
"That one! Daddy's book."
<points>
"Ooooooh. OK. Here you go."

Let the record show that despite the pomp and circumstance,
we have yet to have a pee OR poo in the potty.
Ever.

Sweet jealousy...

"Hey Hudson, look!"

"What that?"

"It's a BABY!"

"Baby?"

"Whitney had her baby, Huddy. She had her baby girl! Isn't she cute?"

"No."

On the drive in to work this morning...

"Hudson, do you see the Black Hawk helicopters up there?"

"Yeah! The ellacopters are in the skyyyy."

"Where do you think they're going?"

"Ummmmmm... WASHINGTON!"

"What??? Seriously?" (he listens!?)

"Yeah! They going to see daddy! I want to go see daddy."

"Daddy will be home Friday. Right now we're going to Burlington."

"I don't want BURlington. I want WASHington."

Please note that I was not taking pictures while driving.

In the bath tonight...

"Mommy, daddy filled this with water! I drink it!"

"Ew, gross, Huddy. No."

"Walk away, mommy."

"What?"

"Ummmmm, I need a new cup from kitchen with water. Walk away."

"Hudson, if I walk away, are you just going to drink the water from that fishy?"

"Yes."

"Well, I might as well just stay and watch you do it. It's still gross though."

"Ok, mommy."

Sipping two-day old water from THIS guy cannot be good.